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aldi inspiration i need

April 21, 2011

Regarding a recent post about my son, a commenter said she had hoped for a picture. How could I resist?

Here’s my little guy, in trousers that fit:

i dig the digest

April 21, 2011

Peter: You need to start blogging again. People appreciate your brand of humor. That’s why Reader’s Digest is so big.

I consider that a high compliment. A longtime dream of mine has been to get a joke published in that fine publication.

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tiny trousers

March 24, 2011

To my 9-month-old in 6M jeans: “Oliver, these pants are on their last leg.”

for the record

March 23, 2011

My father-in-law told us how, as a youngster, he secretly joined a record club and kept the flat, vinyl contraband under a rug, hidden from his parents. This was a clever ruse, but short-lived—his thorough father discovered Petula Clark’s hiding spot while vacuuming.

This story reminded me of another: The Princess and the LP.

talon show

March 21, 2011

A friend was telling us about how her housemate boils chicken feet to make the most delicious chicken stock.

Peter observed, “She must be very talon-ted.”

a bunch of yahoos

March 9, 2011

At small group, a few of us were discussing a question of etiquette.

Jess: You should check into that on Google.

Stu: That’s the type of question that would show up on Yahoo Answers.

Tyler M: There’s a reason they’re called Yahoo Answers.

bullwinkle & bell

March 7, 2011

Will there be moose in heaven? I wonder if anyone at the Star Tribune saw the irony of placing these articles side by side.

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picky picky

March 3, 2011

According to this article, “nitpicking businesses [are] popping up in the Twin Cities.” Do you think the owners are licensed? Someone should go over their credentials with a fine-toothed comb.

tweback in the day

January 1, 2011

Since the photo gives no indication of grandma’s condition, I found the caption humorous:

Off the Mountain Lake Range, p. 5

My Mennonite kin will be happy to hear that I made New Year’s Cookies yesterday.

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analogies:like

December 17, 2010

Excerpts from an amazing analogy anthology.

  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

  • Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
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