what is not the case
This is from a postcard we received at work a few weeks ago. I nearly had mental meltdown trying to understand it, probably because my eyes failed to see the words “store closing,” like being unable to see the ketchup when it’s right in front of me in the fridge. When someone explained the obvious to me, it made more sense.
Upon further inspection, I still think this postcard has major communication issues, mainly because of the words THIS IS NOT THE CASE. What is not the case, I ask? Here are some possible options:
1) It is not the case that we are open and ready for business.
2) You may have received a store closing notice flyer in error. That is not the case; we sent it to you on purpose.
3) You may have received a store closing notice flyer. We thought we sent it to someone else, but that was not the case; we erroneously sent it to you.
4) You may have accidentally received a flyer about our store closing, but that that was not the case. We meant to send you a flyer about our store closing, but an error prevented you from receiving it.
5) It is not the case that our store is closing. Anything you may or may not have received—on purpose or in error—is not the case, and should be disregarded. Come on in and see for yourself, whatever the case may be!
I made the mistake of reading your post today while eating quiche. I now have bits of quiche in the sinus cavities behind my nose.
I like the word “smallwares.”
Jess, I am mad at you for making me disrupt the quiet GCTS library for laughing out loud! I think I would have thought about the same 5 options for what was potentially not the case.
It’s terribly ironic that in an attempt to advertise the opening of their new store, the opposite message was sent.
However, I did hear that World Market Cost Plus is closing all their retail locations and will be web based only in the future. Right now you may receive 80% off of everything in their stores if you meet the following criteria. One, you go to one of their stores while it’s still open. Two, you are there during their hours of operation. Three, you purchase one or more of their in-stock merchandise.
I think this is a much better deal than the 10% these upstarts are offering. But, then that might not be the case for you.
HA! I love your insight into the mundane. : ) I had no idea…. : )
Can I just say that I love your blog?!?! I LOVE IT!!! This post is hilarious.
rofl – you’re better than cake wrecks or lolcats.
Thanks! That’s quite a compliment!