When the online baby registry confirmation arrived in my inbox, I thought it said, “Welcome to Target, Baby.”
Well, it did say that, but without the comma.
P.S. I sent the email on to Peter, and he thought it was a little Fwd.
Our friends Kevin and Janice were telling us how you can catch a bumble bee, put him in the freezer, tie a string around him, thaw him out, and fly your bumble-bee-on-a-string around the room.
Peter: How long to do you keep him in the freezer?
Janice: Until he’s in a coma—cold but not dead.
While I was trying to think of something to say, my husband beat me to the punch (or shall we say nectar) with…
Peter: Oh, until he’s in a honeycomba.
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Janice found this very persuasive when I emailed her about linking to her blog:
“If I link to it, people can find your blog without bumbling around, which would bee pretty stingking great. The bugosphere will be buzzing tomorrow, and honey, you’ll be pollen in comb-ents all day.”
Our family was talking about starting a business. One person suggested selling organic meats. If the company’s shares were traded on the stock market, it could be called The Bull Market, Buyin’ Bullk, or Bunch of Bulloni.
It was a good idea, but we decided to steer clear of the meat market since the steaks are pretty high.
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The recent earthquake and friends’ subsequent trips to the affected area, combined with Jesus’ story in Luke 16, have reminded me of something.
While I was visiting a small rural church a few years ago, a woman stood up during the prayer request time, and said to the congregation, “Please pray for my upcoming mission trip to Hades.”
Good luck raising support for that trip, lady!
Peter: I called Park Nicollet Clinic to pay our bill. I changed my address, but you’ll have to change yours because they wouldn’t let me do it.
Jess: Even though I’m your spouse?
Peter: We can’t change information or know about each other’s records unless we both sign a form when we’re there.
Jess: Next time we go, we’ll have to let them, “It’s okay—we’re attached at the HIPAA.”
We thought that I was 100% older that Peter, until few weeks ago. Now we know that 50% of him is older than me.
“Yes!!!” he exclaimed when I broke the news to him one night as he was drifting off to sleep.
How in the world is that possible? You see, a woman’s egg cells are formed while she is a baby in her mother’s womb. This means that half of my DNA was ready in my mom while she was in my grandmother’s womb back in 1957. And half of Peter’s genes were ready to go when his mom was in his grandmother’s womb back in 1956!
Let me know if this news flash affects any of your relationships!
When my sister Jamie discovered that she could name her accounts at Wells Fargo, here’s what she came up with:
Shylock: Student loan named for the usurer in The Merchant of Venice who demands a pound of flesh if the debt is not repaid on time
Dora: Savings account for the purpose of traveling like Dora the Explorer
Marie Antoinette: Checking account which allows Jamie to eat cake
Just so you know…
The phone lines at our newly purchased very old house are so irreparably crossed that we’ve lived without internet for several weeks. And, we’ve been a little preoccupied.
I don’t always have a good comeback, but I hope to make a blogging one soon!
Maybe I should write something clever about the recent release of Mac’s iPad, and point out its revolutionary “thin and light…take anywhere…comfortable” design.
Nah…
